When The Grass Isn’t Greener
We have all heard the saying about thinking the grass is greener somewhere else. And in the same breath, we have heard the grass is green where you water it. But has anyone talked to us about what to do when you feel out of water and your grass is starting to fade? You are trying your best to keep things alive and well. You want it to be the best yard ever! I know, girl me too. I know how hard it can be to remember what life was like before our kids, how our husbands looked at us when we first started dating, and even how we felt about our future together. BUT, I am here to share with you my top three tips on how to keep your marriage on track even when you feel like the grass is starting to wilt. Are you guys done with my grass analogy by now? Yeah… me too!
- Show up as the best version of yourself: Every time we get into a petty argument or my stress level is high, I get tempted to say something, or rather yell something, that I know I will regret later. Then I started on a self-development journey and started asking myself: “Is this how the best version of Megan would show up?” or “Is this how I want my daughter to see me talk to her father?” Spoiler alert: The answer is always NO! That short pause helps me regain my focus and to remind myself that this stressful moment is not worth a two-day fight. So next time your mom monster wants to come out and yell about the laundry not being changed over, remember you owe it to yourself to show up as the best version of her.
- Date your spouse: I bet you have NEVER heard that before… right? Of course, you have, but have you taken the advice? My husband and I try to do a date night once a week and, honestly it is a capital G- Gamechanger. We are fortunate enough to live close to family that watches our little one once a week. If you don’t have close family nearby, splurge on a babysitter when you can, or plan a date night at home. You don’t have to be wined and dined to spend some one-on-one time together. I look forward to our date night and we mix it up by going to a new restaurant each week. We get to try new things together and the change of atmosphere sans diaper bag and sippy cup is usually just what the doctor ordered. Of course, you will most likely talk about your kids 50% of the time… and that’s totally OK 😊
- Be the change you want to see: I saved this for last because it is the hardest for me. I have learned over time that if you want someone to change, start with yourself. If I want my husband to start being on his phone less and more present at the dinner table, then I need to stop using my phone at dinner. If I want us to go to church as a family every Sunday and become more involved with our community, then I set the alarm, join the host team, and lead by example. Need to save money for a trip, start talking about that out loud and involve him in your plans. When I want my husband to hug me more or be more affectionate, I do the same in return. You guys get the point. Be the change you want to see in your marriage. And when that gets tough, refer to tip #1.
And there you have it! Three simple tips that you can start to pour into your marriage right away. Remember to give yourself some grace, mama! We are called to be moms and wives because the Lord knew he could entrust us with those titles. Every day won’t be perfect, but I assure you start to implement just one tip at a time, your grass will start to be the perfect shade of green. 😊